3 Things I’ve Learned about Pain

Pain is no fun… like absolutely none at all. It is excruciating and unpredictable… The last four months have been filled with pain that I’ve never known before and they have taught me a lot about what pain is, what it isn’t and how to cope.

I know I can’t be the only person who has been betrayed, broken, and bruised. If you have been in a painful place or are now, I hope these three things I have learned will help you through this season!

Pain is unpredictable

If you had told me six months ago that I would be in this place of pain, I would have probably laughed. The pain that I am feeling is the direct result of being betrayed by the person I trusted the most. I knew they would have never hurt me, but somehow they did.

I would have told you that there was absolutely no possible way that this person would break my heart and I would have been wrong.

The truth is that pain comes without warning.. It’s unpredictable, unpreventable and undeniable. And so… the pain comes when we least expect it and it shatters everything that we thought we knew. Crushes it right to the core..

In painful seasons all we can do is cling to verses like

 “I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” John 16:33

Pain makes it hard to pray…

The first month after realizing I had been betrayed it was so hard to pray about it. God had a purpose and I knew he would get me through it but I wasn’t ready to let him..

I was mad…I was hurting.. I was crying.. I was shaking.. I was numb..

I wasn’t okay by any stretch of the imagination. I remember saying things like “I know God has a plan and that he is going to work this out for my good.” but in my heart I wasn’t so sure.

There was nothing I could do to fix it and that was okay.

God gave me my time… He held me when I didn’t know what to pray and he waited for me to be ready for healing. Eventually that day came… It wasn’t overnight.. It was more than a month after the pain started and I finally found myself in that place.. I found myself saying “Lord heal me from the hurt they caused.” and he began to heal me… but that took time too! It was another two months after that until I was finally able to choose to forgive the people who had hurt me.. and I’m sure it will be another few months or years before I am completely healed because….

 Pain is a process…

When you have been hurt deeply and pain becomes such a big part of your heart, it is a process to get to the other side..

There is no right answer.. there is no ten step program to quicken your healing process. There is only Jesus. The process is long and unsteady, but Jesus is stable and secure throughout the journey.


Each time I found myself saying “God I’m not okay.” I would hear him whisper “I know baby, but you will be.. I’ll hold you until you are.” and he did.. and he does.. and he will until it’s over. He will give me a word to get me through… a friend to hug me when it hurts..  a light to shine into the darkness… a hope when I feel hopeless.


Pain will affect us all at some point in our lives because we live in a sinful world. People fail us… family members die… jobs are lost… husbands leave.. children run..  and hurt enters in each time..

The only sure thing in this world is Jesus. Click To Tweet

If you are going through a painful season, I’m so sorry! I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you I know how you feel.. I wish I could tell you that it is all going to be okay.. All I can really do is tell you that Jesus won’t abandon you here. This is not the end of your story.. walk with him.. Let yourself feel the things you feel, hurt the way you do, and let him carry you to the other side.

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12 thoughts on “3 Things I’ve Learned about Pain

  1. Jackie says:

    I went through a heartbreak in late last year and I am still hurting sometimes. It’s true that pain is a process and that only Jesus can heal and fix me. God bless you for this.

  2. Bonnie Lyn Smith says:

    Your transparency is so so beautiful! I understand so well! I truly do! “The pain that I am feeling is the direct result of being betrayed by the person I trusted the most.” : Me too! I had a betrayal this painful just over two years ago now. You are so right. Pain is a process, and He teaches us so much through it if we continue to look to Him and place our feelings and struggles on His altar. You are doing a beautiful job being a testimony through it. I am so sorry for the pain. I know it so well. My other person has never taken ownership and likely never will, but even when everyone else gets off the island, so to speak, God is always always there. Much love!

  3. Esther Hosea says:

    Jordan, I am so sorry for your pain! I too have experienced excruciating pain at the hands of the person I love most in this world as well. I don’t know if it is the same betrayal, but either way, I’m sure we understand each other’s pain.
    I am so encouraged to hear that you are trusting God through this terrible time. I struggled with that a little more, at least at first. But from two years down the road (from the first discovery of betrayal) I can look back and see that God faithfully carried me through every painful step. I’ve genuinely reached a point where I am thankful for the pain because it drew me SO close to God. I wouldn’t trade this relationship for anything.
    Please feel free to email if you need a listening ear: hisdearlyloveddaughter@gmail.com

    • jwhitlock718 says:

      You are so right! Pain is universal, and it is so necessary to give ourselves time to feel all the things and to break so that God can build us back up. Thank you for your encouragement! 💕💕

  4. Donna Miller says:

    You are so right! Pain is hard and it makes it so hard to pray, probably because of how numbing it is. I have to learn to ask God to help me pray in the spirit. Thank you for sharing this tender post! ❤

    • jwhitlock718 says:

      It is such a challenge, but I think when we understand that we can come just as we are it makes it a little bit easier 💕

  5. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for this honest, non-shameful, non-guilt-tripping description of what it feels and looks like to walk through pain with Jesus. So many emphasize the necessity of rejoicing in pain, of *ignoring* pain, and I think they badly misapply that verse and miss the point–and hurt others in the process. I wrote a very lengthy post about the same idea on my blog titled “The Necessity of Shared Sorrow.” I hope you’ll take a look and that it brings you comfort. <3 Thank you for your sincerity and compassion in this post!

    • jwhitlock718 says:

      Thank you for this comment! I will check out your post for sure! It is so hard but transparency is so important!

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