Pain is no fun… like absolutely none at all. It is excruciating and unpredictable… The last four months have been filled with pain that I’ve never known before and they have taught me a lot about what pain is, what it isn’t and how to cope.
I know I can’t be the only person who has been betrayed, broken, and bruised. If you have been in a painful place or are now, I hope these three things I have learned will help you through this season!
Pain is unpredictable
If you had told me six months ago that I would be in this place of pain, I would have probably laughed. The pain that I am feeling is the direct result of being betrayed by the person I trusted the most. I knew they would have never hurt me, but somehow they did.
I would have told you that there was absolutely no possible way that this person would break my heart and I would have been wrong.
The truth is that pain comes without warning.. It’s unpredictable, unpreventable and undeniable. And so… the pain comes when we least expect it and it shatters everything that we thought we knew. Crushes it right to the core..
In painful seasons all we can do is cling to verses like
“I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” John 16:33
Pain makes it hard to pray…
The first month after realizing I had been betrayed it was so hard to pray about it. God had a purpose and I knew he would get me through it but I wasn’t ready to let him..
I was mad…I was hurting.. I was crying.. I was shaking.. I was numb..
I wasn’t okay by any stretch of the imagination. I remember saying things like “I know God has a plan and that he is going to work this out for my good.” but in my heart I wasn’t so sure.
There was nothing I could do to fix it and that was okay.
God gave me my time… He held me when I didn’t know what to pray and he waited for me to be ready for healing. Eventually that day came… It wasn’t overnight.. It was more than a month after the pain started and I finally found myself in that place.. I found myself saying “Lord heal me from the hurt they caused.” and he began to heal me… but that took time too! It was another two months after that until I was finally able to choose to forgive the people who had hurt me.. and I’m sure it will be another few months or years before I am completely healed because….
Pain is a process…
When you have been hurt deeply and pain becomes such a big part of your heart, it is a process to get to the other side..
There is no right answer.. there is no ten step program to quicken your healing process. There is only Jesus. The process is long and unsteady, but Jesus is stable and secure throughout the journey.
Each time I found myself saying “God I’m not okay.” I would hear him whisper “I know baby, but you will be.. I’ll hold you until you are.” and he did.. and he does.. and he will until it’s over. He will give me a word to get me through… a friend to hug me when it hurts.. a light to shine into the darkness… a hope when I feel hopeless.
Pain will affect us all at some point in our lives because we live in a sinful world. People fail us… family members die… jobs are lost… husbands leave.. children run.. and hurt enters in each time..
If you are going through a painful season, I’m so sorry! I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you I know how you feel.. I wish I could tell you that it is all going to be okay.. All I can really do is tell you that Jesus won’t abandon you here. This is not the end of your story.. walk with him.. Let yourself feel the things you feel, hurt the way you do, and let him carry you to the other side.