Have you ever found yourself feeling frustrated with your mundane life? You see other people around you and they look like their life is so much more exciting. Their family, house, job, marriage, and even their calling and gifts begin to make you feel inferior. You begin to pressure yourself to be that. You begin trying to conform to who they are… and you begin to feel miserable.
I’ve been there recently. I’ve been trying to fit into someone else’s box. I’m not ever sure why. It just sort of happened. Maybe you can relate.
The beautiful thing about our Father God is that when we begin to start to sway from the path he’s called us to walk, he gently and graciously brings us back. Don’t you love grace?
I began to feel frustrated with myself and if I’m honest, a little frustrated with God. Why is my life not working out? Why do I feel so basic? Why do I feel miserable? Why is this SO hard? (I’m just being super honest y’all.)
This is when God began to speak to my heart. He said “Jordan, your not walking in your calling.” “What? But I’m writing.. I’m blogging.. I’m trying God?” “You know I’ve called you to speak and I’ve called you to pour into your community. I want you to share me through blogging and writing, but I don’t want you to hide behind it.” Ouch.
You see, I didn’t know until this conversation that I had started to hide. I refused to walk in my calling because I got hurt… hurt bad. I was vulnerable with people. I was sharing and speaking. I was putting myself out there.. and they used my vulnerability against me. It hurt. It made me want to run and hide. And so I did. I guess somewhere along the way I just thought it would be safer to share my heart with you behind this computer screen, than to have to sit down face to face and be authentic.
I stopped using the gifts God had specifically given me… and little by little I began to dry up. I didn’t even know it had happened. But it had.
It’s easy to put up walls, it’s nearly impossible to tear them back down. But here I am… slowly chipping away at the walls I let grow just a little too high. It’s a process and that’s okay. Because this tearing down process, it’s beautiful.. It’s in this place that God is able to speak to my broken, dry places and call them back to life again.
Maybe you’re here too. All dry and shriveled up with walls around your heart too high to climb over. Maybe you’ve been hurt… Maybe you’ve shut down… I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be this way. We can fight through and tear these walls down. It won’t be easy. Nothing worth having ever is. But the Lord will graciously lead us back to a place of peace.
~Can you relate to today’s topic? Leave a comment or send us a private message.. We are all in this together!
(Would you like for Jordan to speak at your next church event? Could your ladies benefit from this topic? Email us for more information.)